O! For your Love

SO! It has been FAR too long since the last time I've written! :(

-BUT-

I am still doing great! Through several guests coming into town and several "girls nights" I have proudly remained Vegan! I cannot say that it was fully easy to not eat pizza with them or milk shakes - YUM - but I remained strong and stuck with my version of "shakes" and gluten-free, dairy-free pizza! Although I do have to say that I did not stick with as much greens as I should have been so starting on Sunday I'm going to do a cleanse to shock my body back to where it should be! I am oh so ready too! Eating "bad" has not necessarily made me feel awful, but I can definitely tell the difference when all my amazing greens were missing and too much sugar was there!

<---YUMMY gluten/dairy free pizza & salad!---- Exercise - my other demon as of lately. I was doing GREAT for about two weeks. I started training for 5k's (amazing training website: www.coolrunning.com ) and was doing Kettle ball work outs mixed with some Zumba on my off-running days for some strength training. Then I came down with a miserable sinus infection that put me out for a few days. Only a day or two after that my best friend came into town and we stayed busy. So needless to say that whole week the only walking I did was when we went downtown, or out (which was a bit - but not nearly enough exercise). I can proudly say though that I jumped back on the track yesterday though and ran 3 miles and am going to do some weights today! O! I promised you my weight... well not technically my exact weight (not even my husband knows that)! But I had told you before that half way through I had lost 9 pounds, well when it was all said and done I had lost a total of 13 pounds! YAY me! I have stayed pretty stable at that weight, which makes me a little sad, but hopefully it will still slowly fall off as I continue to eat healthy and exercise. I promised my life this change for a solid six months and that is what I am going to stick with. In six months I am praying I will see a difference that will make me want to make this promise into a lifetime promise!
As far as meditations and prayers - I definitely need to work more on that! I find myself "too busy" but I KNOW that I am NOT that busy! My prayer time is usually when I drive and other times throughout the day, but time to actually sit down, take in deep breaths and meditate... really need to work on that!

---Enjoying time downtown!----------->

Daily affirmations - still having to work on that as well! I think I have been doing better though. I am not as negative as I used to be and now try to constantly lift up others around me as well. So many people are so negative and down on themselves which makes me sad. But I was once that bad if not worse and now it makes me want to shake them and slap them back to reality that no matter how the world tells you to look or what size pant you have to squeeze into that morning,

YOU ARE AMAZING.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE UNIQUE.

And NOBODY can take that away from you!

All shapes and sizes

Ok! So,.. I lied. I didn't get my pictures and stats updated on my 21st day,.... and for that I am truly sorry. Actually, not really - my sister came in town and I had a blast and will not apologize for that. A simple little picture could wait! But (drum-roll please.......) Here it is:


So, I still do not know my final weight,.. I'll know in two days and will post it for you (as well as the results of why my hair may have been falling out/breaking) but I will post some before/after pictures for you now! 21 days ago I started this Crazy, Sexy cleanse and now 25 days later I feel GREAT! I still have a lot of work to do to get myself into a regular routine and healthy lifestyle, but I am finally on a great path to start!


I was able to buy the book and send it to my sister for Valentines day so I am very excited that she told me that she (along with one of her friends) are going to start this cleanse as well! I was able to show her a few quick meals and she said she thinks she can do it! I hope it helps her as much or more as it has helped me!

What about you? Have you changed anything? What about one of the most important things of all - have you started to love more on YOU? I still struggle with this when my hair isn't the way I want it, or I'm not instantly back at the weight I want to be... so many things we can find negative about ourselves, but it's NOT about that - it's about the GREAT things about you. You are beautiful! You are extraordinary! You are exquisite! You are one of a kind! You are strong! You are brilliant! You are loved!

I'm not blue - are you?

Day 20! Wooooo! I cannot believe that day 21 is tomorrow! I'm excited and scared all at the same time! Well, I promised you a list of things I am going to keep from all of this so here it is! Things to Keep me Crazy, Sexy:

• Water with lemon and cayenne upon waking
• Green juice/shakes
• No meat
• No Dairy
• Lots of greens!
  
• As little refined sugar as possible
• As little Gluten as possible
• As little processed foods as possible
• Dry Brushing
• Meditation/Prayer
• My little blue NettiPot
  
• Fasting 1 day week/bi-weekly
• Exercise a MINIMUM of 3-4 days a week for 35 minutes

There it is! As far as the sugar/processed food/gluten - I am going to start them back in a LITTLE at a time to see how my body reacts, but I am going to try my best to keep them out of my diet. Meats? Sayonara! I haven't struggled with giving them up and honestly do not miss it! Now dairy,... this one will be difficult! I LOVE milkshakes and almond joys! Fortunately there are tons of alternatives to this! I am still able to have 70% or higher dark chocolates and have tried several recipes in the last few weeks that have tamed my cravings so I know I can do it. I may allow myself one treat every other week or once a month because, come on, we have to be human too! But for the most part - buh-bye!

Exercise - something I think I have no motivation or energy for until I put on my work out clothes and shoes and get to work. Then I'm always SO glad I did! I have been follow theCool Running - Couch to 5K running Plan ( www.coolrunning.com ) which is fabulous! I run three days a week. On the opposite days I rotate between Zumba and Kettle Bell work outs for strength training. It has left me a little sore today, but sore in an amazing fashion - because I feel GREAT! Updated picture and weight will come this week. I will update a picture tomorrow for my 21 day mile-marker and I re-visit the doctors office on Tuesday to find out about my excessive shedding and breaking of hair (which has seemed to slow WAY down - YAY!) and achy joints (of which have lessened since I upped using my chia seeds, flax oil and MSM vitamins!) I will also discover my weight on Tuesday (since I don't have a scale at home) so you'll have to weight patiently!

For tonight - I'm going to enjoy a lovely evening watching some favorite movies and indulging in some homemade "Tapioca" pudding (it really is AMAZING!).

I hope that wherever you are the weather is as beautiful as it is here. Get off that couch, out on some running shoes and go enjoy!

Love, Struggles, Promises and Changes

OK! Well, where to start?

irst, let me say HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! I hope you all had the chance to spread love to all of the ones around you but also remembered to take some time to Love yourself as well!

Now let me do a little bit of Arithmetic - I wrote last Monday at 9 days in and now its Monday - so its 16 days in!! Wow - time really does fly! I cannot believe that I am less than a week away from finishing my 21 day cleanse. I am not sure I am going to stop at the 21 days. I think I may go to 25 days (just because I feel my body could use it just a little bit longer). The hard part for me is going to be deciding what I want to keep out of all of this. I know for sure I am keeping the no meats as well as keeping the green juices. I am definitely going to be doing 80/20 (80% alkaline to 20% acid). I will make a list hopefully in a day or so and let you know exactly what I'm going to shoot for.

------- Yummy Homemade Strawberry Tarts I made! ------------>

Changes - well - I've had LOTS of those. Let's start with the positive - As of 12 days in I had lost 9 pounds. I don't have a scale so I cannot check it regularly, but I had to make a visit to the Dr's and got to see my weight there. I was pretty happy with the weight but sad for having to visit the doctors. I had to make the appointment because my hair started falling out and breaking off to small pieces. My knees also started aching pretty badly. SO - they did some blood work and i'll know the results next week(of which of course I'll keep you posted!). I think (and the doctor agreed) that since my hormone levels as well as pH levels were SO out of whack that now that I'm "re-balancing" things might just be a bit off for a little while but they ran several blood panels just in case. Oh! Another positive change - I've had SO much more energy! I've slept better and just have stolen some of my spark back - I have definitely LOVED that part!

Promises - I have promised myself to do this cleanse and thus far I have succeeded! I have promised myself love on Valentines Day - I bought myself a set of the Zumba DVD's (of which I worked out to today and realized how poorly of a dancer I really am). I am now promising myself to work out at LEAST 35 minutes every day for the next 30 days. I also want to promise myself to run a few 5k's this summer! Become active in the community - and learn to give more love!

Struggles - So, I would most definitely be lying to you if I told you through the past 16 days I did not struggle at all. I went to the grocery store for a last minute grocery run and saw my favorite.... Almond Joys.... O how I heard the bells and trumpets and pretty sure the wrappers even started singing my name! I somehow mustered up the umph and just WALKED AWAY! Several times i've picked items up wanting them thinking, it's only got a LITTLE bit of refined sugar or gluten - but NO - I've stayed completely clean and can honestly say (which doesn't happen often) that I'm proud of myself! Over the weekend I was able to visit my husband and of course traveling on this cleanse was a whole new challenge. I pre-made some green juices, and packed a cooler with lots of clean things! I did good and even those around me ate steak, chicken and yummy chocolate I stuck with it and beat the temptations!

<------ Amazing Hawaiian Vegan dish from Boba House (my valentines dinner) --

Well, before I get too big of a head, I should sign out and get to playing with my insane four-legged monsters! I've been gone all night and they are WOUND UP! But don't forget - even if you forgot to spread some love over your beautiful body today it's not too late. This should be a daily thing, but I understand that some of us are extremely busy so at least try to make it once a week. Take a bubble bath, rub your feet, take a walk, put on your sweats and log on to the workout channel. Make yourself some new promises this week. Set small goals and get to attaining them! Loving yourself will only allow you to grow and love those around you so much more!

9's my number! What's yours?

SO! It's been a few days since my last post, but do not fear my faithful followers I have definitely not forgotten you, or worse yet - fallen off the band wagon (what, exactly, is a band wagon anyhow?)! Tonight marks the end of day NINE for me! Hurray! Not quite half way through but almost and I can honestly say that I do not long for the ending of the cleanse. I am thoroughly enjoying my green goddess self and new fabulous lifestyle! I do NOT miss meats and only miss dairy when I drive by Chik-Fil-A and see their amazing milkshake posters - but - I have done lots of research and found that I can make gluten free, refined-sugar free and dairy free desserts that can be made that taste amazing! When you cleanse your body and taste-buds of refined sugar everything sweet tastes SO much sweeter! I can now fully appreciate the sweetness of fruits and vegetables. Yes, you heard me right, sweet vegetables!

As far as cravings, I have not struggled too badly with them. I watch other people eating their greasy burgers and remembering alone how badly those greasy things made me feel makes it easy to just take an extra large bite of my lettuce wrap or spinach salad and know that my insides are squeaky clean and loving my every bit of existence!

This week I am going to start kicking up the workouts as well as the yoga. I have to admit that I have not done a whole lot of either. This past week had brought on a whole bundle of new challenges for me. They challenged my marriage, my stress levels, my safety and my inner peace warrior - I did not like this challenge - BUT - I kicked it back in it's ugly face and sent it back to where it came from and I humbly kneel and beg God to keep it away! So - with that out of my mind and soul this week it's time to get back to focusing on ME!

Speaking of loving me, this weekend is Valentines Day - another lovely day some fool conned up to make some $$$. BUT we'll go along with it, why not? Teddy bears, roses, chocolates(gluten/sugar/dairy free of course) and jewelry - we all know it would be offensive to not accept these things ;) But when is the last time you gave yourself a Valentine? Why don't you join me and make this Valentines Day the first time you take a little time to love and appreciate YOU. Our first and last love is ourselves and we all know (or at least those of us who have experienced enough life to learn this valuable lesson) that in order to ever give love we MUST LOVE OURSELVES FIRST. This is NOT an excuse for pride or snobbishness - because there is a special place for all those snooty people - but this IS a real reason to spend sometime to look inside and do some special self-loving.

Indulge a little, feel special and have fun.

Spins, Twists and Turnips!

So Day 5 on this cleanse and i'm feeling great! I've had some strange "side-effects" (ie. burning smell in my nose and some slight fatigue) but other than that I really do feel good! No heartburn, brighter eyes, healthier skin and feeling lighter and tighter! If only five days in can make me feel good I cannot wait until day 21 and then month 3 and 4 and 6!

---------------------------> Yummy Green Guru Smoothie! ---->

Meditation is something that I have not yet conquered. I know it's important, imperative and all around necessary but sometimes life just doesn't allot time for it! So many things to stay healthy: prayer, eating right, cooking sexy meals, exercising, cleansing, meditation... but somewhere in there life has to happen as well! But wait! All of those things ARE living! It is now just a matter of prioritizing. Will it kill the dogs to stay outside an extra 20 minutes so I can meditate every morning? Do I have to take a 25 minute shower or could I shave 5 minutes and squeeze it as an extra 5 into my workouts? It's the little things.

For today, my affirmation is this: I am beautiful. I am worth it. I can and will maintain a healthy lifestyle. I will follow my dreams and fulfill my goals because I deserve it. At the end of the day, no matter what the day beheld, when I look in the mirror the gorgeous being staring back at me will assure me that everything is perfect and life is amazing!

Rocking the sexy

Ok! So it's day ONE of my 21 day cleanse. So far, so good - but - before I start on today, let's trace back to yesterday.

After a grueling eight-hour work day at school (wait, work? at school? I know, right?) I started my journey over to the health food store. It was a cute little store named Lovey's, and when I say little, I mean LITTLE! But packed into this little mini-mart was thousands of items I had never seen before let alone could have imagine existed! I was in health heaven! I will have to say, that as excited as I was the mere small space with lots of people in small isles with mini carts was very overwhelming. There were lots of workers but they were not the friendliest nor very helpful. I did finally manage to maneuver up and down the isles made for only very slim people and get most of everything on my list. I was putting things in my cart that I had never seen before and some things I did not even know how to pronounce!

I arrived home two hours later and my husband so kindly greets me, helps me tote in the environmentally kind brown paper bags and continues on to help me unload and put away the groceries. He burst out in laughter and when I turned to look at him he looked at me, at the fridge and back at me to say, "so many leafy green things!" It is true, my fridge is now fully stocked with lots of "green leafy things" and any "normal" person who opened my fridge would wonder what I am doing!

So - for today - day 1!
I woke up, had my cup of water with lemon and cayenne pepper (just a dash to help jump start your metabolism as well as to start cleansing your liver and other organs). I "meditated" for 5 minutes in a quiet place until I had a sneezing attack and decided it was time to stop. I then proceeded to do what I was excited to do - get my brand new juicer out and JUICE!

Now, I love the color green - its my favorite - and I love the green goodness and Naked juices so I thought this would be similar. Well, I got all of my ingredients together and it definitely smelled fresh and healthy in my kitchen this morning! I turned on the juicer and started to juice! The process was fun so surely I would love the product. I sipped it, not bad! I poured my glass then poured the remainder in little mason jars for later. My husband was even bold and chugged a little glass! When I started on my glass my stomach was NOT as excited as I was. It smelled clean, fresh and it honestly didn't taste that bad, but for some reason it was a little bit of a shock to my body. I was able to finish the glass and was proud to say I did! I'm a little afraid of the 4 glasses in my fridge that need to be downed, but #1 I'm ready to be healthy and I know my body needs this and #2 It's way to expensive to waste!

We continued on about our morning while I sipped on some herbal lemon tea. It was tasty. We got back home and I made Tofu Salad. (It's just like egg salad). We ate it on gluten-free bread and it was SO YUMMY!!! And did you hear that first part - WE! Yes, my husband braved it again and ate it with me and like it too! Yay!!! It's nice not having to do this entirely alone! He's the greatest! After cleaning up I did have that lovely sugar craving, so I simply took a large strawberry, washed it clean and it seemed to cleanse my pallet as well as kick that craving away!


Dinner tonight is a special treat! I am going to make gluten/sugar-free pasta noodles with an herbal tomato sauce for - ta da - spaghetti! I'm sure it'll be great!

The day isn't over, but I've had a good start! I'm so excited to keep this up! But for now I'm going to sign out, go outside on the beach and enjoy an amazing walk in the sunshine with the three loves of my life! (Hubby and furry friends!)

But before you go - I'll be back! So don't go far! Many of you have read and been reading my posts and I love and THANK YOU all for the encouragement so please don't stop! But DO turn off the TV, computers and other electronic devices and go enjoy some family time this beautiful weekend!

Beautiful Faces in Ugly Places

As I sit here on this beautiful morning I receive an email from a beautiful woman who is also going to start this cleanse. In this sweet note she relays to me that after reading my story she was inclined to share hers and what a story she has. After I finished that email, I went to other women's profiles and just looked at their 'about me' sections. I then proceeded to my facebook page and went to some of the beautiful women's pages that I am close to or know just to to read and "research." What I found was very interesting. What I found was this: behind every beautiful face there are dark tunnels, secrets, hidden "cancers" eating at them slowly. Even the one's I thought look happy all the time, of or just beautiful and look like they have everything together had many hints to their inner miserable beings. This is sad.

I myself have a tendency to be very hard on myself. My husband tells me all the time that what we think and say reflects through our lives and eventually comes to be. Over Christmas he even took time to ask me to please be kinder to myself. I laughed it off telling him that it doesn't bother me. That it motivates and reminds me to change. But when I really sit and think about it it's not true. It is just a fear that I will be complacent with my current self and not ever become better. - BUT - I cannot become better if I tell myself that I am fat, ugly, not worthy of love. If I keep that up my mind can't and won't comprehend beautiful, smart, pretty girl. This in and of itself (positive self-affirmation) is a daily thing. It is not always easy, but it does help to think (when you see a beautiful woman) that somewhere deep inside she had dark places and struggles too. (But she shouldn't) We are beautiful women!

God made us all in His image, making us marvelous creatures! So what if the media says you should be a size 2 or 0. SO WHAT! Are you healthy? Are you happy? Is your inner goddess at peace? If so, then you are everything you need to be and more! This is no excuse to not care for yourself and let yourself go saying that you are what you're supposed to be. No - this is quite the opposite! This is the biggest excuse to take time for JUST YOU! Take a candlelit bubble bath, indulge in your (healthy) cravings, spend a little more on groceries if it means you will spend much less on doctor's visits. Talk a walk in the woods and just breathe in deep. Do whatever it is that de-stresses you. For me, it's play piano, write, walk, or just drive. Find whatever yours is and DO IT! You don't have time you say? Well, do you really NEED 8 hours of sleep? What about 7 or 7.5? Get up 30 minutes early before anyone else and just take the quiet time for YOU. Do you really NEED to watch your television sitcoms? Cut it off and pamper your beautiful body! Do you really NEED that one whole hour lunch break? Find a quiet place and just indulge in the silence. Just 30 minutes a day can and will do you so much needed good! You deserve it but you, and only you can make it happen.

I send out a special thanks to my husband, for his patience and loving kindness. I also say thank you to my new found friend who is caught in this tough life but who is also strong enough to recognize the "cancer" in her life and bravely want to begin weeding it out. You both made me really think and have inspired me greatly!

Go out today, love yourself and be beautiful!

My New Crazy Sexy Life

Ok! So - here's the juicy scoop! My health sucks! Appointment after tedious appointment, medication after medication I have only come to one conclusion - it is up to ME to save ME!

It started around June of 2009 when I got diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma Skin Cancer on my back (Happy Birthday Me!).They were luckily able to perform surgery early on to stop it and my treatments were minimal.
I was married in JULY that year - to my wonderful and supportive husband.

<--------- Sexy, skinny self and sexy hubby!

In NOVEMBER I started having passing out spells as well as chest pains and heart palpitations. I started seeing doctor after doctor and went through test after test. Come to find out one of my valves was failing to perform and that was causing my heart to over-compensate which in turn caused my resting heart rate to be 130-140. I got the lovely privilege to wear a sexy heart monitor around the month of JANUARY due to my heart rate only increasing. They (of course) just wanted me on more drugs. (I'm pretty sure pharmacy companies just typed my name in as, $$$$$ $$$$$!) In MARCH we got pregnant (and although this is so personal to me, this is my life and the only way for me to express it is just to share it as is - raw). Only a few short weeks later, we lost our baby - this one makes four lost babies for me. Doctors soon found out that my body was not absorbing vitamins and minerals,.. really was not absorbing anything but I found that so confusing because if it wasn't getting nutrition, shouldn't it be thin and frail? APRIL came around and just when I think it couldn't get a whole lot worse I started to get this choking issue when I ate. It had started a few months ago, but it was getting so bad that I could not breath certain times and my husband had to hit my back to get the food to go down. So now what? You guessed it! More doctors, more tests! They found that my esophagus had numerous ulcers as well as was enlarged three times the normal size do to a food allergen. Great! I'll just get tested to see what I'm allergic to, avoid it and wham-O! problem solved. Right? Wrong. Insurance would not cover this test and it was far to expensive for us to cover on our own so journaling what I was eating when the choking happened seemed to be the next best idea. JUNE - only year since my cancer surgery! Things should be looking brighter, but instead I had lost babies, passed out like it was going out of style, started choking like it was a part of normal eating habits and the cherry on top - I had gain 50 pounds in a one year marker.

(50lbs heavier) ------>

SO! - the first of JULY I got a personal trainer at my gym. Yes! This is perfect, I thought. After 6 weeks of training hard and eating better I had only gained 4 pounds and GAINED 2% body fat! AAAggghhh!!!! How is this possible?!? Even my trainers were stumped. I stuck with it for 3 more weeks giving me 9 weeks total, but after a complete loss I could not afford to keep it up. Then, excited as I was walking in to the dentist office in OCTOBER I was almost in tears when I left. In six months I had gone from ZERO to NINE cavities. The dentist said that she was almost positive it was due to the acid in my stomach (that was causing ulcers in my esophagus) that was coming up to my mouth and causing cavities. Ok - something HAS to give!

What do you do when you have seemingly tried everything you know to do? Well - the only thing left was to do this myself. I went to a health store and met a sweet holistic doctor who kindly sat me down and figured out what it was that my body really needed. She figured out that my body was overly acidic - by a LOT! That I needed to balance it out. She did a great job explaining it all to me, but when I tried to do it on my own it was SO confusing. I tried to stay away from any meat that wasn't organic (thinking it might help) but I just didn't understand. Every pH scale I found was different and after a while, I just became, simply and sadly, depressed.

As I was walking through Sam's Club in JANUARY just getting some foods for the house I fell upon the book, Crazy Sexy Diet. It looked bright, fun and not all about counting calories or carbs (because let's be honest, who has time to weight and measure every bit of food they eat and oh how that seems to just suck the fun right out of eating). The book seemed to be more focused on strengthening the inner-self (mind, body, spirit and soul) versus a book telling you exactly what to do and why what you have been doing is wrong. I set it down because I was really only looking for a healthy recipe book, but after scanning a few others I just kept being drawn to this book. So, that was it - this was the one. As I started reading I couldn't have been more excited to find that this book was exactly what I have been needing - a new outlook on life. Filled with facts, encouragement, structure and lots of helpful ideas I was ecstatic!

Come to find out this was new, up and coming. Two days later the author, Kris Carr, appeared on Good Morning America, the day or two after her book became a #1 book on Amazon and only a few days after that it was sold out everywhere! Kris's story is amazing, how she battled an incurable cancer and although she still has cancer, her change of diet and lifestyle has saved her life. I want to be another Kris Carr. Better yet, I want to be a healthy, crazy, sexy, fully of spark Emily Auman!

<---- Sexy, healthy I would LOVE to get back to!


Well, I am over half-way through the book and loving every page I read! There is a great support website where so many women and men who have started this lifestyle can give and get together, give help, advice support, comfort and love. The women on there are brave and simply amazing. I am excited to say that I am going to be starting my 21 day cleanse/detox on Sunday. This is just 21 days of purely eating healthy (No sugars, processed foods, dairy, meats, gluten). This cleanse is just to rid your body of all the unhealthy and unwanted toxins and to help return your body to its natural and most healthy pH balance. After the 21 days it's up to you, whether you decide to eat 60/40 or 80/20 of alkaline/acid. My personal goal is to stay dairy and meat free since I strongly believe that those are my main reasons for health decay. I am afraid, as this will be a complete change for me, but I have support, love and faith which is more than enough for me - and I believe the best thing for me to continue on track, is to... blog it! :)