Sweet Cheeks!

Whew! It's been FAR too long since I've visited this blog. I have not neglected my body nor my health in any way - I for some reason just stopped blogging all together so now I am trying to reconnect and fill in the missing pieces. 

-SO-

Since my last post, I moved to a new area and sadly can't say that I remained Vegan. I started eating fish and then small bits of hormone free full range chicken and turkey but didn't eat red meat or have any dairy for a year. I still struggled with my weight and hit my all time high. I was desperate for change. After the loss of our 4th baby we just could not get pregnant again so we started seeing a fertility specialist. I was diagnosed with PCOS and started treatment. This is about the time that I moved from the beach up to where Rob's new station was and this move and having some sort of answer to my infertility all of a sudden challenged me and I kicked my healthy lifestyle back into gear. I started counting my caloric intake and doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred at least 6 days a week. I also started using Body by Vi shakes as a meal replacement 1-2 times a day. In my first month alone I lost 13lbs! My second week into my second month, October 17, 2011, I found out that I was pregnant! I won't go in to detail about every detail but will say that I was high risk to begin with and almost lost this baby early on too. This cut my workouts out completely as well as my caloric intake had to go back up. 

Through pregnancy I maintained quite well. I had to stop work and once I was finally approved to do easy workouts (walking) I did my best to get to the gym at least 5 days a week to walk or do light elliptical. I even gave prenatal yoga a shot and loved it! Right at the end my weight started increasing and when it was all said and done I sadly gained 50lbs putting me at 230lbs. I hate that I let it get that high and am now paying for it, but I did receive and beautiful, healthy baby boy on June 19, 2012! 

I lost the initial water and baby weight within about 2 weeks post-baby and that put me down to about 215. I did light walking the first few weeks that I was allowed to and as I could I bumped up the workouts as my body could handle it. I went down to 205 at about 3 months post-baby and just got stuck there. After a few weeks I dropped a few more pounds putting me at 195 and I have been stuck there for about 2 months. This is the weight that I started at when I started counting calories and the 30 Day Shred. My pre-preg weight is 187 and it seems so close yet SO far away!

I have tried a few different "diets" and workouts since I gave birth but I am nursing and any time I drop carbs or calories or work out too "extreme" my supply suffers and my Dr's recommend not dieting until I am finished nursing. This has put a hitch in plan - O! - and whoever said nursing helps you melt the weight off... yah.. they LIED! I have struggled with nursing and my weight has only come off because I work for it! I eat healthy (Eli is lactose sensitive so I have had no dairy in 7 months) and I walk 2 miles 3-5 times a week and go to the gym when time allows for it. I want to believe that the weight will start coming back off when I am done nursing but am definitely not holding my breath. 

Now, my plan. This is SO much easier to write than to do, but first things first - I have GOT to be easier on myself. My stretched out scared up belly has left me with below 0 confidence. I hate it. Some days I hate me - not the inside of me, but the outside. I love that it carried my baby boy for me for 9 months but hate that it's absolutely destroyed! So plan 1 - BE KIND TO ME! 

Second, I am done dieting. As many diets that I see working for friends, other moms, etc,... I have come to realize that that doesn't work for me. I need to learn moderation. I need to just make healthy choices. Eat healthy foods. Choose smart portion sizes and get some sort of workout in every day no matter how big or small it may be.

Third plan, I have to watch my sugar intake. This is a big one for me - I LOVE SWEETS! Good thing, is that I am able to stay at home with my little man and if I don't buy the sweets at the store I don't have them at the house to eat. I think this has helped tremendously! The bad thing, is that when I do buy sweets I seem to binge eat on them like it's the last box of poptarts on planet earth and the poptart zombies are coming to take them away from me. I will not vow to cut out sweets completely because I know that won't work for me, but I need to work on MODERATION!

Most importantly - I must learn to be accepting and forgiving. I fear that if I accept who I am at this size that I will grow content and never change or even worse - gain more. I fear that if I tell myself I am beautiful like I am right now I will believe it and become complacent and never change for the better. But there has to be a happy medium. I should be able to feel beautiful, confident yet strive to be better all at the same time - I have just yet to find that balance but will continue to seek for it daily. I have to learn to forgive my bad days. The days that I could but don't get a work out in, the days that I do eat a box of cookies, the many days that I don't feel worthy of coming out of my pj's or sweats. I truly want to be an active, beautiful mom for Eli and a truly sexy wife for my husband but it is going to take work - and this lazy girl has GOT to get on it! 

I have joined a June mommies fitness Facebook page and they have been a great support system and are always so encouraging. I would encourage anyone with weight/self-confidence issues to join a group like this - a lot of women, all with imperfections striving for a better life, a better self. In this group we are currently doing a challenge. Each day we are given an exercise to do 50 times throughout the day as well as a food type to cut out for the whole week and this week just so happens to be sweets. It can be tough watching women work less and lose more than you while you sit stagnant at a weight but encouraging because you're not alone.

"The impossible just takes a little longer."

 

O! For your Love

SO! It has been FAR too long since the last time I've written! :(

-BUT-

I am still doing great! Through several guests coming into town and several "girls nights" I have proudly remained Vegan! I cannot say that it was fully easy to not eat pizza with them or milk shakes - YUM - but I remained strong and stuck with my version of "shakes" and gluten-free, dairy-free pizza! Although I do have to say that I did not stick with as much greens as I should have been so starting on Sunday I'm going to do a cleanse to shock my body back to where it should be! I am oh so ready too! Eating "bad" has not necessarily made me feel awful, but I can definitely tell the difference when all my amazing greens were missing and too much sugar was there!

<---YUMMY gluten/dairy free pizza & salad!---- Exercise - my other demon as of lately. I was doing GREAT for about two weeks. I started training for 5k's (amazing training website: www.coolrunning.com ) and was doing Kettle ball work outs mixed with some Zumba on my off-running days for some strength training. Then I came down with a miserable sinus infection that put me out for a few days. Only a day or two after that my best friend came into town and we stayed busy. So needless to say that whole week the only walking I did was when we went downtown, or out (which was a bit - but not nearly enough exercise). I can proudly say though that I jumped back on the track yesterday though and ran 3 miles and am going to do some weights today! O! I promised you my weight... well not technically my exact weight (not even my husband knows that)! But I had told you before that half way through I had lost 9 pounds, well when it was all said and done I had lost a total of 13 pounds! YAY me! I have stayed pretty stable at that weight, which makes me a little sad, but hopefully it will still slowly fall off as I continue to eat healthy and exercise. I promised my life this change for a solid six months and that is what I am going to stick with. In six months I am praying I will see a difference that will make me want to make this promise into a lifetime promise!
As far as meditations and prayers - I definitely need to work more on that! I find myself "too busy" but I KNOW that I am NOT that busy! My prayer time is usually when I drive and other times throughout the day, but time to actually sit down, take in deep breaths and meditate... really need to work on that!

---Enjoying time downtown!----------->

Daily affirmations - still having to work on that as well! I think I have been doing better though. I am not as negative as I used to be and now try to constantly lift up others around me as well. So many people are so negative and down on themselves which makes me sad. But I was once that bad if not worse and now it makes me want to shake them and slap them back to reality that no matter how the world tells you to look or what size pant you have to squeeze into that morning,

YOU ARE AMAZING.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE UNIQUE.

And NOBODY can take that away from you!

All shapes and sizes

Ok! So,.. I lied. I didn't get my pictures and stats updated on my 21st day,.... and for that I am truly sorry. Actually, not really - my sister came in town and I had a blast and will not apologize for that. A simple little picture could wait! But (drum-roll please.......) Here it is:


So, I still do not know my final weight,.. I'll know in two days and will post it for you (as well as the results of why my hair may have been falling out/breaking) but I will post some before/after pictures for you now! 21 days ago I started this Crazy, Sexy cleanse and now 25 days later I feel GREAT! I still have a lot of work to do to get myself into a regular routine and healthy lifestyle, but I am finally on a great path to start!


I was able to buy the book and send it to my sister for Valentines day so I am very excited that she told me that she (along with one of her friends) are going to start this cleanse as well! I was able to show her a few quick meals and she said she thinks she can do it! I hope it helps her as much or more as it has helped me!

What about you? Have you changed anything? What about one of the most important things of all - have you started to love more on YOU? I still struggle with this when my hair isn't the way I want it, or I'm not instantly back at the weight I want to be... so many things we can find negative about ourselves, but it's NOT about that - it's about the GREAT things about you. You are beautiful! You are extraordinary! You are exquisite! You are one of a kind! You are strong! You are brilliant! You are loved!

I'm not blue - are you?

Day 20! Wooooo! I cannot believe that day 21 is tomorrow! I'm excited and scared all at the same time! Well, I promised you a list of things I am going to keep from all of this so here it is! Things to Keep me Crazy, Sexy:

• Water with lemon and cayenne upon waking
• Green juice/shakes
• No meat
• No Dairy
• Lots of greens!
  
• As little refined sugar as possible
• As little Gluten as possible
• As little processed foods as possible
• Dry Brushing
• Meditation/Prayer
• My little blue NettiPot
  
• Fasting 1 day week/bi-weekly
• Exercise a MINIMUM of 3-4 days a week for 35 minutes

There it is! As far as the sugar/processed food/gluten - I am going to start them back in a LITTLE at a time to see how my body reacts, but I am going to try my best to keep them out of my diet. Meats? Sayonara! I haven't struggled with giving them up and honestly do not miss it! Now dairy,... this one will be difficult! I LOVE milkshakes and almond joys! Fortunately there are tons of alternatives to this! I am still able to have 70% or higher dark chocolates and have tried several recipes in the last few weeks that have tamed my cravings so I know I can do it. I may allow myself one treat every other week or once a month because, come on, we have to be human too! But for the most part - buh-bye!

Exercise - something I think I have no motivation or energy for until I put on my work out clothes and shoes and get to work. Then I'm always SO glad I did! I have been follow theCool Running - Couch to 5K running Plan ( www.coolrunning.com ) which is fabulous! I run three days a week. On the opposite days I rotate between Zumba and Kettle Bell work outs for strength training. It has left me a little sore today, but sore in an amazing fashion - because I feel GREAT! Updated picture and weight will come this week. I will update a picture tomorrow for my 21 day mile-marker and I re-visit the doctors office on Tuesday to find out about my excessive shedding and breaking of hair (which has seemed to slow WAY down - YAY!) and achy joints (of which have lessened since I upped using my chia seeds, flax oil and MSM vitamins!) I will also discover my weight on Tuesday (since I don't have a scale at home) so you'll have to weight patiently!

For tonight - I'm going to enjoy a lovely evening watching some favorite movies and indulging in some homemade "Tapioca" pudding (it really is AMAZING!).

I hope that wherever you are the weather is as beautiful as it is here. Get off that couch, out on some running shoes and go enjoy!

Love, Struggles, Promises and Changes

OK! Well, where to start?

irst, let me say HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! I hope you all had the chance to spread love to all of the ones around you but also remembered to take some time to Love yourself as well!

Now let me do a little bit of Arithmetic - I wrote last Monday at 9 days in and now its Monday - so its 16 days in!! Wow - time really does fly! I cannot believe that I am less than a week away from finishing my 21 day cleanse. I am not sure I am going to stop at the 21 days. I think I may go to 25 days (just because I feel my body could use it just a little bit longer). The hard part for me is going to be deciding what I want to keep out of all of this. I know for sure I am keeping the no meats as well as keeping the green juices. I am definitely going to be doing 80/20 (80% alkaline to 20% acid). I will make a list hopefully in a day or so and let you know exactly what I'm going to shoot for.

------- Yummy Homemade Strawberry Tarts I made! ------------>

Changes - well - I've had LOTS of those. Let's start with the positive - As of 12 days in I had lost 9 pounds. I don't have a scale so I cannot check it regularly, but I had to make a visit to the Dr's and got to see my weight there. I was pretty happy with the weight but sad for having to visit the doctors. I had to make the appointment because my hair started falling out and breaking off to small pieces. My knees also started aching pretty badly. SO - they did some blood work and i'll know the results next week(of which of course I'll keep you posted!). I think (and the doctor agreed) that since my hormone levels as well as pH levels were SO out of whack that now that I'm "re-balancing" things might just be a bit off for a little while but they ran several blood panels just in case. Oh! Another positive change - I've had SO much more energy! I've slept better and just have stolen some of my spark back - I have definitely LOVED that part!

Promises - I have promised myself to do this cleanse and thus far I have succeeded! I have promised myself love on Valentines Day - I bought myself a set of the Zumba DVD's (of which I worked out to today and realized how poorly of a dancer I really am). I am now promising myself to work out at LEAST 35 minutes every day for the next 30 days. I also want to promise myself to run a few 5k's this summer! Become active in the community - and learn to give more love!

Struggles - So, I would most definitely be lying to you if I told you through the past 16 days I did not struggle at all. I went to the grocery store for a last minute grocery run and saw my favorite.... Almond Joys.... O how I heard the bells and trumpets and pretty sure the wrappers even started singing my name! I somehow mustered up the umph and just WALKED AWAY! Several times i've picked items up wanting them thinking, it's only got a LITTLE bit of refined sugar or gluten - but NO - I've stayed completely clean and can honestly say (which doesn't happen often) that I'm proud of myself! Over the weekend I was able to visit my husband and of course traveling on this cleanse was a whole new challenge. I pre-made some green juices, and packed a cooler with lots of clean things! I did good and even those around me ate steak, chicken and yummy chocolate I stuck with it and beat the temptations!

<------ Amazing Hawaiian Vegan dish from Boba House (my valentines dinner) --

Well, before I get too big of a head, I should sign out and get to playing with my insane four-legged monsters! I've been gone all night and they are WOUND UP! But don't forget - even if you forgot to spread some love over your beautiful body today it's not too late. This should be a daily thing, but I understand that some of us are extremely busy so at least try to make it once a week. Take a bubble bath, rub your feet, take a walk, put on your sweats and log on to the workout channel. Make yourself some new promises this week. Set small goals and get to attaining them! Loving yourself will only allow you to grow and love those around you so much more!

9's my number! What's yours?

SO! It's been a few days since my last post, but do not fear my faithful followers I have definitely not forgotten you, or worse yet - fallen off the band wagon (what, exactly, is a band wagon anyhow?)! Tonight marks the end of day NINE for me! Hurray! Not quite half way through but almost and I can honestly say that I do not long for the ending of the cleanse. I am thoroughly enjoying my green goddess self and new fabulous lifestyle! I do NOT miss meats and only miss dairy when I drive by Chik-Fil-A and see their amazing milkshake posters - but - I have done lots of research and found that I can make gluten free, refined-sugar free and dairy free desserts that can be made that taste amazing! When you cleanse your body and taste-buds of refined sugar everything sweet tastes SO much sweeter! I can now fully appreciate the sweetness of fruits and vegetables. Yes, you heard me right, sweet vegetables!

As far as cravings, I have not struggled too badly with them. I watch other people eating their greasy burgers and remembering alone how badly those greasy things made me feel makes it easy to just take an extra large bite of my lettuce wrap or spinach salad and know that my insides are squeaky clean and loving my every bit of existence!

This week I am going to start kicking up the workouts as well as the yoga. I have to admit that I have not done a whole lot of either. This past week had brought on a whole bundle of new challenges for me. They challenged my marriage, my stress levels, my safety and my inner peace warrior - I did not like this challenge - BUT - I kicked it back in it's ugly face and sent it back to where it came from and I humbly kneel and beg God to keep it away! So - with that out of my mind and soul this week it's time to get back to focusing on ME!

Speaking of loving me, this weekend is Valentines Day - another lovely day some fool conned up to make some $$$. BUT we'll go along with it, why not? Teddy bears, roses, chocolates(gluten/sugar/dairy free of course) and jewelry - we all know it would be offensive to not accept these things ;) But when is the last time you gave yourself a Valentine? Why don't you join me and make this Valentines Day the first time you take a little time to love and appreciate YOU. Our first and last love is ourselves and we all know (or at least those of us who have experienced enough life to learn this valuable lesson) that in order to ever give love we MUST LOVE OURSELVES FIRST. This is NOT an excuse for pride or snobbishness - because there is a special place for all those snooty people - but this IS a real reason to spend sometime to look inside and do some special self-loving.

Indulge a little, feel special and have fun.

Spins, Twists and Turnips!

So Day 5 on this cleanse and i'm feeling great! I've had some strange "side-effects" (ie. burning smell in my nose and some slight fatigue) but other than that I really do feel good! No heartburn, brighter eyes, healthier skin and feeling lighter and tighter! If only five days in can make me feel good I cannot wait until day 21 and then month 3 and 4 and 6!

---------------------------> Yummy Green Guru Smoothie! ---->

Meditation is something that I have not yet conquered. I know it's important, imperative and all around necessary but sometimes life just doesn't allot time for it! So many things to stay healthy: prayer, eating right, cooking sexy meals, exercising, cleansing, meditation... but somewhere in there life has to happen as well! But wait! All of those things ARE living! It is now just a matter of prioritizing. Will it kill the dogs to stay outside an extra 20 minutes so I can meditate every morning? Do I have to take a 25 minute shower or could I shave 5 minutes and squeeze it as an extra 5 into my workouts? It's the little things.

For today, my affirmation is this: I am beautiful. I am worth it. I can and will maintain a healthy lifestyle. I will follow my dreams and fulfill my goals because I deserve it. At the end of the day, no matter what the day beheld, when I look in the mirror the gorgeous being staring back at me will assure me that everything is perfect and life is amazing!